My confusing life..

i am done...

2005-06-03T19:09:58Z

this live journal thing is once again getting out of hand, so...i/m going to stop updating once again, just thought i'd let everyone know. people can really go crazy about the release of emotion and some open thought when your in a bad mood. sorry for ruining everyones days with my venting. goodbye for now, maybe i'll start writing again in the future...

snickers53187 @ 2005-05-31T16:40:00

2005-05-31T20:47:53Z

i hate this sadness
i hate this repeating phrase
i hate this situation
i hate lonely days
i wish i was somewhere
i wish i was loved
i wish i was happy
i wish too much
i know that you love me
i know that too well
i know that i love you
i know that all too well
i can hear your screaming
i can hear your cries
i can hear you heartbreak
i can hear your lies
i cannot help you
i cannot save you
i cannot do this
i can never be with you
this is not my decision
although i wish i could change it
i wish i could change you
but here i am back to wishing
words have no meaning
and actions are no use
if this is the truth
then what do you want me to do?

birthday party!!!

2005-05-26T02:06:42Z

okay, so some of you already know, and some of you do not already know, this is a reminder for those who already know and an invitation for those who don't already know....but please, not too many people, i don't want my parents getting angered.
my birthday party is saturday, may 28th, at approx. 4pm - approx. 10-11 pm. you can come if you wish, only if i know you, no random stalkers please and thank you. most of you probably already know where i live, if you do not, call me then, you should have my number, if you do not, then i probably don't know you and you are not coming. but if i do know you and you dont have my number, i apoligize for the last comment and you can come if you want
the only things i ask of you are as follows....
1.no drugs
2.no alcohol(i know alcohol is a drug, but some people don't realize that, so i have to put it seperat for the uninformed)
3.not too many people, mom won't be happy
4.you do not have to get me a gift if you don't want to, i'm serious about this, i am only asking for your presence, but if you really insist on getting me a gift, then get me one, i will accept it. and if you already bought me something, don't change your mind and take it back because of this comment....so, to the major point of numero four:get me a presnt only if you want, it is not a necessity.
5.for those who smoke, please do so in the back behind the gate, for those who have been to my house, QOH property.
i think thats it.

and by the way....
june 6th, classic roxx, 7pm, $7
cut throat in autumn(that's my band : ) )
our first show, come and support please, it wouyld be greatly appreciated

p.s.-jess, i don't hate you, stop thinking that. what i do know, is that at this time, we are not in a position to have a relationship more than friendship, and i think you already know that, but i figured i would just inform you. you are one of my best friends, and i will never not be there for you(ughhhh...it hurts to use a double negative) <3

snickers53187 @ 2005-05-23T14:38:00

2005-05-23T19:00:29Z

If my heart being broken makes me a lover
then i am the most romantic of them all
and as you fall asleep at the wheel
i laugh because i know that the bridge isn't real
and neither is the coffin i'm buried in
suffocating me for all i'm worth
well, you've been done for awhile
so it's time to give up
take down this beautiful picture
because you don't love me anymore
it's time to run from this
but my feet are stuck to the ground
and if i'm a damn good kid
then why am i so sick of being pushed around
i can't take this any longer
this illusion is what is wrong
and i can't stay here much longer
i've already been here far too long
i'm blind to this fact
and i'm blind to this reality
but the fact of the reality is
none of this exists
and as your ghost dances in my head
i think of when you told me of you infininity
well, it sure seems to be fleeting now
as you load the gun behind your back
you pulled the trigger
i would never do something crazy like that
but now that it's always dark
there's nothing to get lost in
nothing but myself
myself and the lack of anything waiting for me
so let's dance tonight
as he drinks himself to death
so let's kill tonight
for the blood will be on your hands
and this is the end of it all
you can't see me because i'm not really here
i have been replaced by the smell of his kiss
as he drips with what you crave the most
and it drags you down with him
into the thing you hate the most
you've ran your whole life from this
wanting to save those who have been impailed by what is loss
and now you are the dead one
and you refuse everything i have
you are worst than your own heartache
for you made me this way
and now that i am dried up
i know that not even death awaits
you are lost in your satisfaction
i am lost in my distarction
so lets dance the night away
as we think ourselves depressed
so lets kill tonight
for this is out of our hands

i give up

2005-05-10T00:58:52Z

love is a lost cause and it is not worth fighting for. pain is the only response to my caring, rejection, loneliness.
i gave my all for what i thought was finnally truth, it turned out to be just as false as everything else i've ever believed in.
life is my torture, and i hate it.
i wish i was messed up enough in my head so that suicide seemed reasonable to me, but my thoughts push me on towards a possibly brighter future. i know it is not there, but i can at least hope.
i have had, in my opinion, my first major heartbreak. there is no pain that compares to what i have felt the past month, nothing.
slice off all my limbs, cut out my eyes, and leave me to bleed to death. it will not compare to this.
i.am.done.

love is blind and full of daggers

2005-05-02T19:27:28Z

i just feel like i'm trapped in a corner and surrounded by sharp obejects, every move i make hurts, and i just cant find a way out.
that is how i feel every second of every day. there is no easy way, there is no advice that can save me. i am deaf from my own screaming, i am blinded by my own crying.
there is no where where the daggers do not seek my throat. they look to kill this passion and i look to kill the pain.
there is no hideaway, no path of right, the romantic are blind from their own misguided acts of treason, and i am being brought to the gallows.
take my heart and run with it, far away from the crooks that steal. they sit on the streets with their innocent faces, look you in the eyes and tell their deceits.
manipulate the boundaries of sanity, make us look wrong, the fools of our own culture. tied to the lamp posts with our guts on the street and our heads in the skies.
kill off the wounded thats what the soulless say, but we hide in the shadows and stab one another until we all feel the same.
you would take out her brain to make her seem sane, but you cannot change the mistakes that have been made. caused by the brainless, the crooked, the numb. made to feel ugly, made to feel worhtless in her own beautiful casing.
we are no longer the living, break us from sin, and cause our own necks to break in the wind. we do not need them for we do not see the tortures we lead.
burn down the chapel and set free the dogs. gnaw at the corpses and take them to the grave to be buried half alive.
this is society within it's own bridges, burnt to the grond, and being torn apart at the fringes.
this is what all of us see, the lives we live and what we all feel, but noone steps up to take on the appeal.
so today when you feel alone in the world, remember this, there is someone waiting here just for you, to make the pain fall short and feed you your bread. when this one comes, do not take it for granted, for if you do, then you will be the ones who have turned their live slanted.
then you are the one who cuts out their heart and spits in their face, and continues the hindering on the whole human race.

love is blind.
you are lost.
the past is a burden that must be forgotten.
this knowledge is torture.
follow your bliss.

long time, no update, really need this though...

2005-04-25T22:38:10Z

wow, been a long time...sorry.
this is a strange feeling, for the first time in my life, i truly love someone, with all of my heart, but at the same time i truly hate someone with just the same passion. The worst part about those polar opposites is that they are dating. This is torture.
I have never felt such a mix of emotions, i have never felt so confused, i have never cried so hard and so much in my entire life. i hate this, and i have so much trouble even telling people that jess and i are not together anymore, but now i have to tell people that she's going out with the person i despise, and there is nothing i can do about it.
i hate everything about Matt Emerson. the kid is a total douche, he's a loser, he's an asshole' he manipulates jess, he treats her like shit, he is the most horrid person i have ever had the displeasure to meet.
I love almost everything about Jessica Bochmann. she is wonderful, beautiful, smart, and i just feel so incredible when i'm around her, i feel like i could reach up and pull down a star and hand it to her. there is only one thing that i do not love, that is her fear, her fear drove her away from me and into Matt's arms.
now, i am lost and alone, i do not have the girl whom i love, i do not have my clear thinking mind that i had when she's around me with her love. i barely speak with her anymore, probably five minutes every two days, and it's just basic chit chat, i don't have the nerve to say these things i write here, my fear consumes me as well.
this is what i live, i don't know where i should turn, i want to continue to follow my bliss, my jess, my undying love, but it is a rugged road that i'm not sure that i can bear. i will try anyways, and if i fail, so be it.

on a lighter note:
Duprass will be the greatest band. we might have a show june 26th, it is not official yet, but it is a possibility. This is friggen exciting.

i love being in love with you, my love

2005-01-24T03:15:36Z

havent updated in quite a while.....lets update on whats happened, some friends got really mad at me....now i'm not sure if they are still mad, i think they're mostly over, which i'm glad, because just because i cant always be there for them, my friends mean a lot to me....i really wish i could be there for them all the time though, but it's quite impossible, especially when i'm trying to be there for my self as well....
i love jessica marie bochmann with all of my heart...i shall marry that girl someday....but before that, i know she wants to get an apartment on or off of elmwood, and i would like nothing more that to live in that apartment with her, if she wants me too...but as she always says, it should be implied that she wants me around as much as humanly possible...and the best part about our relationship is that, for once, i feel like i can tell her anything, and it wont be something that she will look down on me for because shes had such a "messed up" life, as she always says....and she kinda has, i'm not going to lie, but i am not going to think less of her for it, not now and not ever...i really hope she knows she can tell me absolutely anyhting.......
february is so close....and you know what that means, justins house will be completely vacant, minus me, him, matt, and a select other people, i am staying there every wekkend, i am going there as much as possible, and it is going to be great, because his parents will not be there, and i hate his parents so much, they are the stupidest people i have ever met....not the mention they are complete assholes, and walking contradictions....his parents make me life, not in a comical they tell good jokes kinda way, but in a your so stupid i cant help but laugh at you sort a way.....i hope they die in florida, that would be great, that is so mean, but it would be so great....
march 4th is coming even closer....i cannot wait....sf, mcr, underoath, asl, the used, and others....greatest show ever....in toronto, and then, i reall hope we can get this to work, a hotel room afterwards, and then the next day shall be spent visiting the good people of toronto and unleashing us upon them...they dont even see it coming...hahahahahaahhahahahahahahahahahaha

i love jessica.....who do you love?

well, i'm glad i am what i've always thought i am...well not always, but w/e.....

2005-01-24T02:59:39Z

You scored as Emo & More. Emo and Screamo.

</td>

Emo & More

88%

Indie

71%

Indie Rock

71%

Hardcore

46%

Classic Rock.

42%

Industrial

38%

Punk and Pop Punk.

33%

Hip Hop and Rap

29%

Ska

29%

Mainstream

21%

Britpop

Country

Music Recommendation
created with QuizFarm.com

long time no.....talk?....

2005-01-03T03:50:17Z

well, what has happened lately....been seeing lots of jessica, i love her so much, she is too perfect for me and i really feel like this is the best relationship ever, lol....we hang out all the time, welll all the time that we can, and we just love each other so dearly....hehe...havent hung out with heather and all them in so long, i miss them, it seems like everytime we make plans, they dont work out, the one time they actually did for me, i showed up at mighty taco for the christmas mighty thursday thingy, haha, and noone was there, so i called heather and she said they werent going to 10:30 now, and that was the latest me and jess could of stayed at mighty because she had to pick up her dad from work by 11, what a sad thing, sorry guys, :( ......well, what else could i talk about besides love and sadness...the band?....i have about 5-6 songs written, but as a whole, besides drums because we've only practiced with drums once i think, ughhhhh....a total of 2 songs, minus drums, even though we have a drummer, .5 of a song with drums, i just think they need more originality, the drum parts that is, eh...whatever.....i just really want this to work, i've realized it's practiccally the only option i might have right now...but sadmy its not a sure thing, not even close, the only thing in my life that is a sure thing, is jessica, which i am truly happy about...but everything else is a big mess, ughhhh.....i guess you cant have everything, i only wish there was something o could do, but i dont think there is, i dont have eough authority in my life to make that sort of change, even though i wish i did, :( , o well, theres nothing i can do i guess.

my thoghts on love.....

2004-12-20T03:31:40Z

okay, so love can seem to suck so much for such a long time....the broken hearts, the losing trust, the failing games that leave lost in lust. when it seems like a heart can break no more, it breaks again and whats left is dust, a shell of what once was, empty and unsure. give it up, there is nothing good in this world, nothing left, no trace of hope, no loving future in which living forever is bliss and then caring is gone and death is awaiting. but just then, rock bottom breaks the fall and its all given up, she comes along, the angel of dreams, flying in on broken wings. not sure how much to trust, but just fold in so quickly, so deeply, into her, into her heart, her mind, and her body. always afraid to love too much, afraid to chase away what was never thought to leave, and just then...looseness , assured and confident, nothing is wrong. but still careful must remain, do not give in completely, do it anyways, and the love crashes in like a tyrant of waves and buries so deep. lost, lost in what was never thought fathomable, what could only be imagined in mind when asleep, deep in dream, shake restlessness, make sure it's okay, but this is the girl that wears broken wings as well. so perfect she is, no wrong she can do, no wrong she can't right, just want to hold her all night, never leave, never change, never fear, for love is finnally here.... i heart you miss perfect, miss dream-come-true, i hope this lasts forever, for only you will do. word to the love.

life is great

2004-12-20T02:47:58Z

i heart jessica!
the band is actually practicing fairly regularly, all we need are better amps.
i'm sick, and it's cold outside, which cannot be helping. but the snow is nice : )
that is all...

oh jessica, i heart you!

2004-12-13T03:01:52Z

i asked jess out the other night and guess what.......she said yes, haha...i am sooooooooo happy i feel like crying, lol...a good crying for once though...i cant believe this is even happening, she is too amazing for words and just everything about her makes me smile, it makes my breath stop, my heart drop, and my lips press up against hers...its my dream come true, and i really hope i;m in a coma this time and i never awaken, because this is as perfect and as real as it gets.
this must never end!
i heart jessica! <3

TOO AMAZING FOR WORDS!

2004-12-09T19:10:48Z

ok, so i changed my icon back to what it used to be, mostly cause i always feel like that nowadays....that is when i'm with jessica : ) we've hung out the past two nights and they have been perfect, everytthing i could ask for in a good night (except there were no stars, unless you count the ones of jess' comforter, or if you count her eyes, cuz then i have the only two stars i ever want to look at)
we drove around and just went to the mall, starbucks, and tops...and then we were sitting in her car in the tops parking lot, lol...the wind was blowing, shaking the car gently back and forth, we just kept telling each other how amazing we thought the other was( but she is sooo much more amazing than i), and i just kept staring into her eyes, and then we kissed...it seemed soo perfect!
then last night i went over her house and we just talked about our days and what not(i feel so comfortable around her, like i could talk to her about anything), we laid on her bed and talked, and kissed, and held each other close, and nothing has ever seemed so right : )
i cannot stop smiling, every time i think of her, anything about her, which is pretty much always, cause since saturday, all i've thought about is her, so...i've been smiling nonstop, and even if i dont show it on the outside, i'm sure smiling on the inside : )
haha...i fell in between her bed and the wall, and i was near the edge, so she asked if i was falling?....i said no, and then quickly corrected myself, because i am...i still am falling, and i hope i never stop, because falling in love with you is better than i could of ever thought <3

i have never been this happy before in my entire life, i feel like i'm going to explode with joy, my cheek muscles hurt because i've been smiling so much, but i dont mind one bit...

the only thing i wonder is this...is this moving too fast, or just fast enough? because i sure know its not moving too slow, lol...but i guess it really doesnt matter because if this is fate, it'll move at whatever pace it wants to and theres nothing i can do about it, and i dont mind at all...

o man, this is great!!!!

2004-12-05T18:54:59Z

last nite was AMAZING, lol...hung out w/ my new friend, jessica...aka the koolest person alive, lol...so yeah...we went to borders and got cappuchinos and looked around at books and all the random stuff they have spread out through out the store, haha, we read what every women must do in their life, jess has a lot of catching up to do, lol....hmmm...then we went over her friend jackie's house....jackie was trying to turn me gay, it was a very uncomfortable situation, she was also very violent, lol...only towards steve tho, that poor kid, lol, j/k....jackie was reli kool tho, and so was steve the mall cop, lol...ummm...then we just went back to the parking lot across the street from her house and sat in her car and talked for probly an hour or so...it was great though, one of the best nights i've had in quite a while, thank you so much jessica for the wonderful night, we must do that all the time : ) lol

lyrics!!!!!!!!

Shine On Beautiful Eyes

Your eyes catch mine
sparkling like the starlit sky
shine on in me
shine on beautiful
shine on

Eyes are emotion
show me what your feeling
gaze into me deeply
eyes are love
take me by the hand
and take me with you
wherever you may go

tears will fall down
but i will wipe them away
clear the sadness from your eyes
these days I've been dying to say
how I love your dreamy blue eyes
as they shine on in me
shine on beautiful
shine on

Eyes are emotion
show me what your feeling
gaze into me deeply
eyes are love
take me by the hand
and take me with you
wherever you may go

(kool slow down bridge part, music only, yes, i already have the music written out, haha)

Eyes are emotion
show me what your feeling
gaze into me deeply
eyes are love
take me by the hand
and take me with you
wherever you may go

wherever you may go
your angel eyes will glow
but with you with me
tomorrow will be a wonderful evening

ok, comment on it pleaz and thank you : )
gotta go to work now, bye!

......

2004-12-03T21:40:26Z

i'm sorry, i'm an idiot.....

o man...

2004-12-03T20:44:29Z

yeah, i love the way how friends ignore you and then when you dont hang out with them because you have something else to do(and you tell them that you have something else to do), how they call you a ditcher and dont talk to you. Yeah, awesome!!!!

on a better note, met the coolest girl last night on myspace, haha. we have so much in common. she is very kool indeed. : )

haven't updated in quite a while...

2004-12-03T02:22:18Z

yeah, so.....what have i been up 2 lately, been hanging out w/ justin n kelly a lot lately...been 2 guitar center twice this week...hung out w/ falon a lot lately 2, n anna...its been a lot of fun...gone 2 gardenview a lot, justins cousin ray was up 4 the weekend, that kid rawks...ummmm...lasertron was fun : )....rob is getting a drum set this weekend, finnally, band practice canm b like all the time now.....n we will practice like all the time, cuz if not...i'll have 2 go 2 college, which will totally suck, i have 2 prove 2 my parents that i want this more than nething in the world...mostly cuz i do....i like 2 girls at this moment, i like 1 more than the other when i'm with the person than i'm with, if that makes ne sense....wait, i like the 1 that i'm with more at the time that i am with them, there, that makes sense....i hope it does at least, haha....ummmm....missed the action action show last nite cuz my mom wouldnt let me go....missed mighty monday on monday, feel reli bad about it cuz i think they mite b mad at me that i didnt go : (.....i reli hope that they're not tho....pleaz 4give me mighty crew, the mighty crew is the sweetest crew around : )no lie....unless we're counting the no luck club as a crew, cuz then that has all the koolest ppl i could ever think of, well, not all, but still...the point i'm trying 2 make is that all my friends rawk and i'd b nothing without you's, so pleaz dont b mad at me even if i'm a total asshole, cuz if i was acting like a total asshole i probly didnt mean it, cuz i would never mean it on purpose....well....MITS christmas party is sunday, how r ppl getting there cuz i dont kno how i'm gonna get there yet...i'll probly just ask sum1 4 a ride, but who?????

hmmmm......

2004-11-24T02:45:26Z

yes, got called into work 2nite, was supposed 2 hang out w/ justin, but deff not cuz of work...o well, talked 2 joel about looking at his car n maybe buying it, i mite go look at it on sunday, should b awsum, i mite have my own car, ahhhhhhhh!!!!! gotta talk 2 my rents about it tho, cuz i need 2 borrow money 4 it, i'll pay them back, but lets hope they'll pay 4 the car 4 now : )....
there r 2 many pretty girls, wtf?....n i cant have ne of them, this sux....as u can tell i'm going thru g/f withdrawal, lol...but its ok, i can make it thru the rain, lol...
yeah, i got nothin 2 reli talk about, so yeah, i'm gonna go...lol.

i hate being lonely : (

2004-11-23T03:01:09Z

i feel so lonely n unwanted, not entirely sure why...but i deff do. i miss holding onto a girl that i care about n cares about me back so much, its tearing me apart, i want it not 2 bother me, but it does so terribly much...i miss having stupid fun, i feel like i miss things n that i'm 2 busy 2 do things that i reli want, cuz my life is on a first come first serve basis, n i hate it, i just wish i could b an asshole sumtimes n ditch ppl but i cant, cuz i'm 2 nice...i dont even kno y i wanna ditch ppl sumtimes, i love every last 1 of my friends, but i feel like i dont c all of them enuff, like my time needs 2 b spread out more evenly....n 2 make it worse, i have a guitar string broken on my guitar n i dont even have time 2 go out n buy a new 1 2 replace it, which means no way of getting out my excess anger n depression, so its building up like crazy...but was over annas 2day n got 2 play her acoustic guitar, which is like double the therapy, made me feel better 4 a while...i miss so many of my friends cuz i havent seen them in so long, most especially, justin, matt, brian, kelly, crystal, andy, sara b., allyssa, katie, n many others but i'm not in a thinking mood rite now....i'm starting 2 despise skool, i hate having 2 do things, i no longer care or want 2 try, i dont even care if i go nemore at this point, but i will so i can make my parents happy, cuz nothing else i do makes them happy, cuz i'm never home...n they dont even realize that i hate not being home as much as they hate it, but i do not have the ability 2 say no 2 ppl, its impossible 4 me...man, life reli sux : (

i got bored and made a quiz!! ejoy: )

2004-11-18T20:06:10Z

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

sooooo.....

2004-11-15T23:54:31Z

yeah....i'm bored n yeah....not 2 mention lonely, n about 2 have the busiest week ever, i have no free days at all....this is insane...tonight-town meeting 4 PIG w/ matt...call if ya wann do sumthing, maybe we can hang out after...tomorrow-work 4-8, once again, call if ya wann do sumthing after....weds-soco show, excited?, yes i am, its gonna rawk....thurs-work4-8, call after, once again, if ya wanna do sumthing, haha, getting extremely repetitive...fri-mbr show, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.......so excited, even more so that i am 4 soco, mbr, hipv, midtown, o man...awsum times will occur, heres hopin 4 not almost losing my shoe this time, lol, good times tho....sat-homecoming w/ lauren 4 work at mount mercy, it should b fun, gonna b out til like 3am w/ a limo, gonna b very tired...sun-i'm pretty sure i'm actually free 2 do w/e i want, so call me, unless i sleep all day from the whole week, lol....heres also hoping that amongst all this crazy fun sumthing good will happen besides crazy fun, : )...n no, this is not a hint, i'm just hoping, cuz i have nuttin rite now in mind at all(not sarcasm)<----also not sarcasm, lol

broke a string on my guitar and i dont have 1 2 replace it w/....ahhhhhhh....playing mcr, strumming 2 hard n 2 fast, n blah blah blah, the string broke, need money 2 replace, but i have no money 2 spare cuz of my crazy week n i need 2 save money 4 it...shirts at shows, ticket 4 dance, food at work...I NEED MONEY!!!!!!

this quiz is soooo true

2004-11-12T03:25:55Z

Your Love Style Is...
Shattered!

Come on have a little more faith in yourself. You are worthy of love and shouldn't be afraid to go for it! Don't let people of the opposite sex push you around, you are an awesome person and it's about time you realized this.

What is your Love Style? Find out at DatingTips.ws

wow....its like it knows me or sumthing, kinda weird...but it has a point, i should have more faith in myself, but i cant help it, i've been destroyed by the power of love 2 many times 2 have faith in it nemore...n faith in myself, never....

my day off from skool

2004-11-12T02:31:44Z

yeah...so, last nite i went 2 justins house n we were planning on sneaking out at like 1 am and video taping ourselves being stupid, it woulda been funny...n we did, except nothing reli happened, haha...we got a couple good things, i wanted 2 videotape brian peeing cuz i thought it would b funny, but he said it was illegal n all this crap...so i didnt...yeah, got home around 3am n went 2 bed, dissappointed that it didnt work out as planned: (...justins mom came downstair n woke us up at 9am, telling us 2 rake the leaves, that didnt happen, i fell back asleep until about 11 or so...then went home...sat online bored 4 a while, when kelly was wondering if i wanted 2 come over n show her more stuff on guitar, i decided 2 go, cuz i had nothing else 2 do, n kelly is always fun 2 b around: )...got there, showed her a few things, she practiced more, shes getting better, but she has 2 realize that it takes time n lots of practice, but shes deffinately doing good 4 the short amount of time she's been playing...then her mom came home n was being a bitch, n was yelling at kelly, n kelly didnt kno y, she got all upset n pissed off, n i wanted 2 help her feel better, but i didnt kno how, but i hope she gets 2 go 2 care's b-day party 2morrow, even tho its not like i'm gonna b there or nething, its just the principle of the thing: )then went 2 work, worked w/ pam, pam is deff 1 of the collest ppl at r store, haha, n heather cam in 2, yay!!...heather is also 1 of the koolest ppl at MITS...so it was a pretty fun nite working, worked w/ justin 2, hes such a nice guy, haha, hes reli kool...n his vrother john, who is super funny, haha...2 bad he does drugs n stuff, he'd b so much cooler...but hes still a kool guy: )now i'm home, learned how 2 play jimmy eat world-pain on guitar, its sooo easy, n its fun 2 play, most;y cuz of the solo, haha....i'm bored now.but thats ok: )

not much goin on lately...

2004-11-11T17:12:11Z

hmmm...been hanging out w/ friends, playing halo 2, prisms concert, denny's afterwards...ummmm...not much else, just been listening 2 the early november 4 like 3 straight days now, not sure y, but i cant stop...haha, i luv ten, they rawk: )...so here r lyrics from a few of my fav songs:
"All We Ever Needed"

Tonight is a story of love
Two broken hearts set by one
All he wants is a sign
Of how she's making her mind
All we ever wanted was

Love and love and happy afternoons
Watching TV from your room
While you're laying in my arms
And I know it's not fair to me
To see this love walk right by me
Every day, will we ever meet the right way

Again, again

Tonight I will sit next to you
To see if you act like we're through
To make you laugh is all I want
I'll hold you while tears fill our eyes

Love and love and happy afternoons
Watching TV from your room
While you're laying in my arms
And I know it's not fair to me
To see this love walk right by me
Every day, will we ever meet the right way

Love and love and happy afternoons
Watching TV from your room
While you're laying in my arms
And I know it's not fair to me
To see this love walk right by me
Every day, will we ever meet the right way

Again, again
"Sunday Drive"

And we wait above a road.
We're turning to go home.
And the silence from the side of the car,
Tells me everything and how we are.
Cause there's no more trying to make this so right.
There's no more trying tonight.

And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone,
And I wonder if, I'm alone in your head.

I know something is wrong,
I just don't know what to do.
You say it's only me, and, that I'm so perfect for you.
I don't want to try no more,
I don't want to make this right.
I just want you to be true to me one time.

And you know it's not so easy when you're all alone,
And I wonder if I'm alone in your head.

Twelve days gone by, since I have saw you last,
I'll give this one more try,
I'll give it all my best, and, I'll ask
What could you be doing that is so much fun?
Without me by your side,
Without me by your side.
And, I will take a step back, and, I'll let you ahead,
And, I will take a step away, and, see if you come back,
Because there's no more trying to make this so right,
Theres no more trying,
Theres no more trying tonight.

We'll never be the same,
We will never be the same,
We will never be the same,
We will never be the same,
Until you're done.
"Ever So Sweet"

I just found a friend
in one of your lies
to treat me so nice
i can't believe my bones
when they say so many things
they tell me i am fine
believe me i, i try

Oooh oooh oooh...

Ever so sweet...
you make this seem
the way things go
its not my fault
and i'll miss
i'll miss you so good
through all of those nights
we lost our way back home

Ever so sweet
you baked it in cakes for me.
What you left behind,
it hurts my teeth.
Bring in the past
with the postcards you sent for me.
Every line,
it brings me right back down.

Can't you see the wall you built for me
can't you see the wall you built for me
can't you see the wall you built for me

Cause we're not special
we're not special
we're not special

Well i'm not special
i'm not special

Ever so sweet
you baked it in cakes for me.
What you left behind,
it hurts my teeth.
Bring in the past
with the postcards you sent for me.
Every line,
it brings me right back down.
"Dinner At The Money Table"

I've got a day and a reason
Why I should not believe in..anything, anymore
What's this for?
My time well spent
I've got all these memories that I cannot believe in
Cause I don't know where I've been all these years
All these years

And do you know this reason
I hope that you can see it cause I will not give up
And we all know what you've done again
I can see right through you
You're making your way over again..again

Two days after leaving and I don't have a reason to keep you from being here
I don't steer these thoughts away
I know that you know this but I could never get you to believe all my fears
Is this your clear?
I think so

And do you know this reason
I hope that you can see it cause I will not give up
and we all know what you've done again
I can see right through you
You're making your way over again..again..again..and again

And do you know this reason?
I hope that you can see it cause I will not give up
And we all know what you've done again
I can see right through you
You're making your way over again..again..again

And do you know this reason?
I hope that you can see it.
Cause I will not give up and we all know what you've done again
I can see right through you
You're making your way over again..
"Pretty, Pretty"

Early in the morning, wake up to a bright blue sky
lightning comes at any time to break it down and make it ugly
i know that it's just for me
'cause no one else can feel or understand
that's alright because i can handle all that you throw down

and i hope you find a perfect place
where sky's are beautiful all of the time
it's all that matters, pretty, pretty
and i know that's all you could care about
there's no reason why you can't

it's all about the icing, and nobody cares about what's inside
you could see the outside face, it looks good, it must be great
and i know that's all you see
what would it matter anyway
'cause i can see right through your pretty, pretty skin today

and i hope you find a perfect place
where sky's are beautiful all of the time
it's all that matters, pretty, pretty
and i know that's all you could care about
there's no reason why you can't

and no reason why i should try to go on anymore
my reason's all gone, no reason why you should
try to make excuses to make me feel alright
excuses call for stupid reasons
and i know that it's not much that i can offer right now
just give me one little second and i will try my hardest
to make you feel like i'm someone else.

yeah, so, lifes been pretty boring lately, minus, chorus, mighty crew, my friends(always been the koolest), and music(which i've been writing quite a bit of lately : ), so, band practice again soon?, hopefully, w/ a slight change in sound tho)